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Leaning Into My Witch

Intentions are Everything

Hey lovely readers, in my previous blog post, 2023! What a year! What about 2024? I talked about my writing plans for the year, and also my personal plans. The latter included taking time out to enjoy the wonderful place I live in the Algarve in Portugal, to indulge in a spot of gardening – one of my great pleasures and a lovely way to relax, and I also talked about leaning into my witchy side. There’s a reason I write about witches!

When I published the first books in the White Haven Witches series, back in 2018/2019, I was asked a few times as to whether I was a practising witch, and my reply was no. My reason for that was that I don’t spell cast as such, or belong to a coven – not that you need to, obviously. However, as the years have passed, and I have reflected, written, and read more about witchcraft, the more it feels true to say that yes, I am a witch.

As those of us who practise the craft know, it’s not just about what we do. It’s also a way of being and thinking. Certainly witchcraft takes many forms. There is no right way, that is the beautiful thing about it, and we all find our own authentic route. For me, my belief in witchcraft and magic began in my late teens when I started to question all the established rules and belief systems. I already distrusted organised religion. I disliked the fact that the only God talked about was male, and that he led a patriarchal system of worship and behaviour that didn’t resonate with me at all. There were so many rules, and none of them allowed for freedom of expression. Paganism, however, did speak to me.

I began to read around the subject, and I had a few friends who had the same opinions. I looked at how the church had appropriated pagan celebrations, supplanting new beliefs on top of old ones. The more I read, the more annoyed I became. The old ways called to me. I found the Christian church controlling and misogynistic, and to be honest, deeply disturbing. However, I’m not here to bash religion. It serves some people well. Just not me. Following the natural rhythms of the seasons and the cycle of the moon felt a far truer way of living.

At eighteen I was also, in line with my thoughts on life, becoming more unconventional. I threw off accepted ways of dressing and behaving, because I felt more authentically me. I dyed my hair, first with henna, and then with orange and later pink hair dye. I wore beads in my hair, and let it turn into dreadlocks. I embraced hippie dresses, and then grunge. In the late eighties and early nineties, listening to grunge music was where I truly found myself and where my individuality came to the fore. I wrote a blog called About a girl -and what Chris Cornell means to me, triggered by his untimely death, where I talk about this in more detail. I have always bucked convention. I have never got married, and never had kids. Witches do, obviously, just not me. It has never been necessary, and fortunately my partner agrees!

So, witchcraft.

Well, I loved reading about strong, magical women, such as Circe and Medea. I fell in love with the Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. Who didn’t? I adored Moonheart by Charles de Lint. The veils between worlds always felt tangible. I admired the strong, independent women around me. My friend Cecilia – I have lost touch with her years ago – was amazing. I think all unconventional women have a touch of the witch. It’s their fierce independence that marks them as such. I think it marks me, too. We had a fire in the house I shared with three other female friends once. No one was hurt fortunately, but the attic bedroom was badly damaged. My friend who slept there had to sleep in our bedrooms while it was fixed. She was on nights at the time (a nurse like me), so it worked well. However, she declared that she couldn’t sleep in my room. She said something I thought peculiar at the time, but that has always stuck with me. She said my bedroom was too full of me. I took that to mean that I had a strong presence. Maybe I’m wrong.

I also went with a group of friends to a tarot reading. The second I sat down in the chair for mine, the woman doing the reading told me that I was on the wrong side of the table. I never mentioned this to anyone, but not long after that I was gifted a set of tarot cards by a friend who spoke of things I had barely begun to grasp, and I started to learn the craft. We had long conversations he and I. That period of my life was particularly intense. It felt as if I was at the cusp of something… It felt as if I was really finding out who I was. This was compounded by books I was reading, and conversations I was having. And then my explorations were put on hold by life.

However, those beliefs have been with me constantly. I am drawn to the mysteries of life. I remain deeply intuitive. I sense ghosts. I always follow my gut instincts, and they have always served me correctly. I know what some people are thinking before they even say it. I am often told I’m wise. I’m not sure I am, but it’s a nice compliment! I was called a witch once by a male friend who was frustrated with me. He thought he was being insulting. He wasn’t. I was also often told how kind I am. I never saw that, because it came naturally to me, but I do now. Kindness is underrated, but so important. We should always be kind to each other. These qualities find expression in my writing. I am very creative. I love playing with colour and images, and of course, words. Quite honestly, although I was a nurse for years, particularly in mental health nursing where my intuitiveness proved useful, writing is my happy place. It’s my home.

Witchcraft and Writing

About fifteen years ago I felt the need to start writing properly. I had always kept diaries. I had to write. But more and more I felt the need to write stories, much as I had done in my teens during English classes. I embarked on an English Literature degree and did lots of Expressive Arts papers. The second paper I took was on Witchcraft and Magic. It was serendipitous. It plunged me right back into the thought processes I had started all those years before. It helped me focus. I had ideas I needed to express.

I also returned to the old stories I had always loved. The old myths and legends. That was why I chose to retell the Arthurian tales. I also knew I wanted to set them in the Otherworld. I have to write about the paranormal. I can’t help it. It’s hard wired into me. I found that writing about Morgan le Fay, Nimue, and the Lady of the Lake was the most fun part of the those tales. When I started writing the White Haven Witches, it was natural to progress those ideas.

However, it was also important to keep the witchcraft I wrote about grounded. Why invent new magic systems when there was one right there to draw on? I love research, so I delved into witchcraft, and built on my knowledge, and found I respected witchcraft all the more. But I still didn’t consider myself a witch, although I read the tarot, and now own several packs. I only ever do a reading though, with the set given to me years ago. There’s something magical about lighting candles and incense and shuffling and laying out the cards. They have never lied, and have given me great insight into situations. It’s easy to write about Avery and her use of them. The opening scene of Buried Magic came to me immediately. I’m also drawn to the moon, particularly full moons. I’m a Cancerian. It rules me. The moon is part of who I am.

And now?

Over the last few months, I’ve felt closer to how I was in my early twenties than I have for the last thirty years. Is this a menopause thing? I don’t know. I like my younger me. She was bold and fearless, and frankly, had boundless energy that I no longer have. But I retain her curiosity, and her sense of mystery. The feeling that there is something beyond that which we cannot see or hear, but is just there. A pulse in the dark. A stirring in the earth. The watcher in the moon. A breath on the wind. Witchcraft to me is very natural. It’s a feeling of being at one with the rhythms of the earth. The ebb and flow of the seasons. The cycle of the moon.

Witchcraft and the deeper mysteries of the world have always walked alongside me, and are part of me. I have rituals I follow every day – beyond the daily coffee and copious tea every morning while writing! I light candles and incense to influence my mood, and set my intentions for the day. I honour the moon every month. I soak up the sun. I speak to plants. I say final words over dead mice and birds that the cats have brought in. In the last year I have once again sought to connect myself even closer with the craft. I don’t know why I should feel that urge now, but things that I have put aside cannot be put aside for any longer. Maybe it’s because I read so much about witchcraft, but then again, I have for years. Does that mean I am now fervently spellcasting? No. But I am doubling down on my intentions. I am focussing more on rituals for new moon and full moons, and the Wheel of the Year. After all, all of my witch books are based around the seasonal celebrations. That was a deliberate, but also a natural choice.

Of course, hand in hand with witchcraft, for me, are the myths, legends, and folklore that shape our world. I have always been fascinated by these too. Again, it’s another reason I weave them into my stories. England is soaked in them.

However, more than that, being a witch, for me, is about how I feel and express myself. I rage against patriarchy, and outmoded religions and ways of thinking that prove detrimental to women, I align more and more with feminist readings. I love Hagitude by Sharon Blackie. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. She talks about menopause burning away extraneous ways of being until we find our core. I can relate to that! She is also an expert on the myths that shape us. I’ve subscribed to her Substack, The Art of Enchantment.

As a consequence of these changes, or should I say, a return and strengthening of earlier behaviours, the way I write about witchcraft is different to how I used to. I keep the White Haven Witches grounded – reasonably, and will continue to do that. I wanted – and want- them to be normal people who happen to be witches, like all of us. I approach them with a light touch.

However, I feel different about the Moonfell Witches. They have more weight to them. Their history clings to them. They carry more of the mysteries of life. Their ancestors are close. Barak, one of the White Haven Hunters, describes them in my latest book as always keeping one foot in the past. That is why in that series I will look at their past and present. It will be fun for me, and you, I hope! I cannot write cosy witchcraft. I don’t want to. Witchcraft is not cosy. Not to me at least. It is deep and mysterious, and unfathomable, and wondrous, with roots that reach deep into the earth, and draw on the elements that are all around us.

Therefore, this year will be one in which I become more intentional with my practice. Intention, after all, is everything to witchcraft. I’m excited about it. I’m fired up to practice and to learn. In addition to my numerous books on the subject, and there will be more, I’m listening to podcasts, and subscribing to groups. I’ll list a few of these below, and I’d love you to share any recommendations you might have.

I also announced a few weeks ago that I will be sharing more resources with my Ream subscribers. Wheel of the Year resources will be available, as well as information on the myths and legends relevant to all of my books, not just the witches series. I also promised more short stories too. I’m very excited about all of it!

Resources:

There are a few more podcasts I’ve subscribed to, but haven’t really started listening to yet. If you have some to recommend, please list them in the comments below. I’d also love to hear your thoughts on my post, and your own experiences with witchcraft. Also please share your suggestions as to what you’d like to see in my Ream subscription.

Thanks for reading about my personal journey. More blogs coming soon x

30 Comments

  1. Annette Wright says:

    So much of your story resonated with me. I knew very little until I was 50 and visited Egypt and was transported back to previous lifetimes. I have been a reiki healer for 20 years now and that is how I see witchcraft. Love your books

    1. TJ45279180 says:

      That’s wonderful, Annette. Our experiences are all so interesting. Thanks for commenting.:)

  2. Suzanne fowler- Garner says:

    I can relate to so much of your story. Being born in the early 50’s a lot of the things I saw (and done) my mum used to tell me and other people is was my imagination. I believe she was scared about the burning of witches. There’s too much to put on here but as I said, I can relate to everything you’ve said. One other thing I want to say is Thank you for all you do.

    1. TJ45279180 says:

      I think many of us have experiences we hesitate to share. Thank you for commenting, and for being such a fantastic fan!

  3. Donna Gee says:

    I believe as we grow older the resonating with our younger selves is that we draw close to the time that we awakened our magic. As we get older we know it still to be truth and that we grow into better understanding. I was also told I was in the wrong seat and that I had great power lol ! I have since read the medium that has become my friend. I love your gift I thank the goddess for you ❤️

    1. TJ45279180 says:

      What a great explanation of why we connect with our younger selves, and thank you for sharing your experiences. 🙂

  4. Pegge Meyer says:

    Thank you for sharing, TJ. I once called you High Priestess of, I think, the largest coven ever!! And though, it might have sounded in jest, I don’t think it was. You have created and provided a safe gathering for all us like minded “witches” through a magical place called White Haven. We are all grateful. My journey started as a child raised Catholic who saw, felt, heard things that no one ever was able to explain. I was that child who all the catechism teachers hated to have in their classes, who asked the questions that they couldn’t or wouldn’t answer. I was the girl who held seances in the library during lunchtime. As I became older it was easier to just ignore it all and be what was expected, even though it all felt so wrong to me. After raising my kids, I became a Certified Massage Therapist in my 30s and that’s what finally let the Witch out. I went to a workshop while in school, and a woman who was taking the workshop with me walks up and says, “It is so good to see you again!” I’d never met this person and thought, ‘ok, she’s different.’ After talking a bit she just stares at me for the longest time, that deep stare that sees so much, and says, “You have been Healer, Medicine Woman, Priestess and Witch.” At that, I was startled and told her, don’t call me that, I don’t like that last word. She chuckled and said, “Now why do you think that is? Let’s find out why!” That evening when everyone else was off doing other things she told me that what she does is Past Life Regressions and asks if I would be interested. Long story short, I did find out why the word Witch bothered me so much…. especially when you are being executed as one! It was life changing, and from that moment on I’ve embraced being a solitary Witch, for I still kept it hidden. I embraced that child again that could see Spirits and had visions, and felt way too much at times when others where sick and in pain and I could help them. I embraced herbology, and made my first set of Witches Runes and taught myself how to use them. However, it wasn’t until you, TJ, and your books and online FB group where I have truly felt it was ok to be open about the Craft. I don’t think we can ever forget the burning times and believe that that couldn’t happen again, but now, to be able to embrace who and what you are with others is magical and I thank you for that.

    1. TJ Green says:

      Thank you for your wonderful comment, Pegge, and for sharing about your experiences. I’m so pleased that my books and my group and have helped. 🙂

    2. Izzy E says:

      Ohh. Thanks for sharing. This resonates with me a lot.

  5. Sam Eldridge says:

    Your experience resonates so much with me. I am fascinated by witchcraft, paganism and spiritual healing, so much so I studied and got my Reiki Master qualification. I can totally immerse myself in your books and feel like I am actually there and part of it all. Keep the stories coming TJ they heal my soul. I am also about to start learning the tarot, I think it will sit well alongside my pendulum divination. Thank you TJ

    1. TJ Green says:

      Thank you, Sam, and good luck with the tarot. I know you’ll love using them!

  6. Gilly Grafen says:

    Hi TJ
    Thanks for the insight I was an only child born in the fiftys and was very often found talking to plants animals and other beings that no one else could see always called a daydreamer. Growing up I became a hippie because to me if people were kinder to each other we would all grow as humanity so much better .
    I think I have always known I was a witch or at least very differently wired to other people later in life I am still that person that senses where and when I’m needed .I love your writing and understanding of the subject as you keep it so real and relatable I can actually feel the growth in your writing it is truly inspiring and helpful feeding the curiosity in this group of like minded people. Thank you

    1. TJ45279180 says:

      Thank you for sharing, Gilly. I’m really pleased that my writing resonates with so many people, and that I have drawn like-minded people together.

  7. Dawn Copping says:

    A lot of what you’ve said is completely relatable to me right down to falling in love with the Mists of Avalon. My belief system is how I live my life. I trust my ever present insight into people’s intentions and how they behave. It has literally saved lives. I work as a therapy coordinator in a womens psychiatric hospital. I use crystals and guided meditation among my therapies and never deny that I am a witch if asked. I love life and honour every version of humanity. My biggest ‘fault’ is that I HAVE to see some good in everyone and feel grief when I sense with certainty that I am being manipulated. I admire and respect your style of writing, especially the normality you give your Witches from Whitehaven to Moonfell.

    1. TJ Green says:

      Thank you, Dawn. It sounds like you do some wonderful work.

  8. Laurie says:

    I knew you were a witch when I asked you if you were about 5 or 6 years ago and you said no. I don’t believe you could have written as good a series of books without intuitive knowledge of the craft. Your writing is superb all on its own without that but the spark that ignites them to another level comes from within. I’m 60 now and my father put a diving rod in my hands when I was 6 and taught me how to use it and I was off. I walked away from my magic in my late teens and came back to it several years later. It keeps me sane. Magic isn’t about constant spells or anything like that; that type of magic exists only in movies and tv. Although there are spells that can be used it’s not like media portrayals. So happy to have you out of the broom closet. Looking forward to your blogs and hearing more as you continue your journey. I wish you the best. So mote it be.

    1. TJ Green says:

      Thanks Laurie. It’s a lovely compliment about my writing, and gave me a giggle to be out of the broom closet! Yes, magic takes many forms. I’m glad to hear how it works for you. 😊

  9. Maggie O’Donnell says:

    Loved reading all about your early years and how you arrived at where you are. I’ve always been interested in the mystical. At school my nickname was which probably because of my wild hair. I’ve became interested in crystals and reading up on them. My dreams seem to take me into what is happening in life, one of my Aunts had been in hospital for a few weeks but I dreamt that her husband who had died many years before had came for her, saw him standing with his arm around her just looking at me. I spoke but he only smiled. My mum phoned me the next day to say she had passed and I relayed my dream. Other things too have happened x

    1. TJ Green says:

      What an amazing experience, Maggie. Thank you for sharing it.
      It must have been quite comforting to know she wasn’t alone.

  10. Peter Brown says:

    How many of us believers have been hounded and ridiculed since 1951? The teaching and bigotry of the Abrahamic faiths are still active in today’s ‘faithless society’, especially with the American influence around Samhain. One author I have found who opens the old ways is Moyra Caldecott and her saga of the Tall Stones. Thanks TJ for creating a world where we can exist without persecution.

    1. TJ Green says:

      Thanks Peter, it’s my pleasure. I must look up Moyra Caldecott’s books! 🙂

  11. Michael Jasper says:

    Hi Tracy,
    Thanks so much for sharing this. I just recently came out as a witch to my husband, my sister, and my best friend. The girls are atheists/agnostic anyway and my husband has been slowly deconstructing how he views his basic Christian spirituality (and of course they have observed my witchy ways all along, so they took it pretty well. I consider myself a Christian Witch as my personal beliefs about Jesus are in agreement with my witchy beliefs. I have published a short memoir under the pen name Silas Scott called “I Am A Christian Witch.” I plan a sequel more specifically about reincarnation memories and what I call head-hopping (finding myself living someone else’s current life while I sleep. I think a lot of people may have these experiences and disregard them as strange dreams. I have experienced them much more since maturing into my 50s. I’m sure that like all of us, you have more books on your TBR list than you could ever get to, but I thought you might enjoy my little book about accepting my identity as a witch. It might be something many of your fans would enjoy as well. I remain a huge fan and eagerly await every new book, because I burn through them. I will confess that The White Haven Witches remain my favorite, but I love them all. Thanks for helping people embrace their authentic selves by sharing this personal blog.

    1. TJ Green says:

      Thank you, Michael, and congrats for coming out of the broom closet as one my readers called it! I will certainly look at your book, but you’re right, I have a big TBR list!

  12. Denise Olby says:

    This all sounds just like me..but I am probably now where you were years ago.. I have always loved witchy things, things that were different, natural things but I’m 68 now and it was passed off back then as whimsical or having a vivid imagination..but I always felt it was so much more. So it wasn’t really until my parents both passed that I felt comfortable to delve into being and accepting ‘me’ .. I am still early on in my findings but I Love embracing who I am. I too feel deeply annoyed by the way the Christian church has piggybacked and changed so many of th Pagan ways and celebrations.. All these realisations began to dawn on me after years of somehow feeling ‘duped’..not that I was ever particularly religious as it didn’t feel genuine but I guess I just grudgingly accepted what I’d been taught. I love being close to nature.. Walking barefoot on grass, feeling a breeze and the sun on my skin, revelling in a thunderstorm or just laying on my back watching the clouds change are all top of my pleasure list..and although my mum used to be a nature lover she used to say lightly “you don’t seem to be quite as ‘evolved’ as the rest of us.. Lol.. I felt this was actually a compliment.. I talk to everything as I feel everything has a soul.. I too apologise to the cats ‘gifts’ for their demise and feel deeply sad that it had to happen at all. My mum used to say after I’d done some deed that felt ‘right’ “you can be too kind for your own good sometimes…” and I used to think.. Can you..? How? Why? Mayb I’m waffling on a bit and I apologise for that but your blog resonated so deeply wth me.. ❤️ There is a song that I was tagged in by my also witchy cousin (my mums side again..the Cardews) also felt Soo me it touched my soul..it’s truly worth a listen I’d you haven’t already heard it.. Its Savege Daughter by Ekaterina Shelehova.. I love it.. It really speaks to me.. x

    1. TJ Green says:

      Thanks Denise! You’re not waffling. It’s surprising how many of us have such similar experiences! I must now find Savage Daughter! 🙂

  13. Maggie Grevenow says:

    What a wonderful blog post. I adore Mists of Avalon. I bought the dvd back in 2019, and have watched it several times. It’s about time for another re-watch. I also was able to find the audio book of Moonheart and downloaded it from my library. I’m anxious to start listening. Thank you so much for all your wonderful books!!

    1. TJ Green says:

      Thank you! It’s my pleasure. Glad you enjoyed my post!

  14. Izzy E says:

    Thanks TJ. What a wonderful post. As you know I grew up in a very different culture and believes, raised in a communism era Poland into strict catholics believes. When at the same time my grandmother worshiped the moon and followed the moon phases. They rule when we can have our haircuts to when to plant various herbs and vegetables to bathing in sage. Her practices were never commented on or questioned or called witchy but looking back at my childhood they were deeply rooted in witchcraft and old rituals. She was also the one who told me about bee lore and installed in me respect for this small but almighty insect 🐝.

    I’m not a witch but love and respect their ways and rituals. I came from Catholicism and now identify as pagan. I absolutely adore your books and feel privileged to be a part of your community and the Ream group. Thank you x

    1. TJ Green says:

      Your grandmother sounds fascinating, Izzy. No wonder you have now embraced pagan beliefs. You are very valued part of my community, so thank you x

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